People take different stances on kindness and have a genuine concern for others. Some abide by the philosophy of altruism, others utilitarianism, and there are those that practice very religious selflessness to achieve the collective good. By nature, we humans strongly value collaboration and helping others accomplish responsibilities, and working with community spirit has long been engraved in our history and across cultures.
However, there’s an alarming issue on the rise, and it’s people who take helping others and accruing responsibilities to a self-destructive level, wherein it’s no longer productive, and no self-growth is achieved. So, today we’d like to emphasize the principle of taking only the responsibility your due and why we tend to overburden ourselves with responsibilities we have no business nor obligation to partake.
Genuine Concern For Others Is Good, But Never At The Expense Of Your Sanity
Of course, we are by no means downplaying the significance of kindness. It is a virtue in scarcity nowadays, and experiencing a genuine concern for others is something we all drastically need during these trying times of the global pandemic. However, kindness to a fault that puts your sanity and your own well-being at a cost is never healthy, and that’s where the problem starts. Yes, you’re more than welcome to help others, but if it comes at the expense of you feeling helpless and distraught, it is no longer a virtue but a bad take on martyrdom.
#1 You Can’t Handle Everything Alone
Firstly, no matter how competent, skillful, or talented we appear to be, nobody has the capacity to take on multiple responsibilities at a time. Sure, while some of us may claim to be excellent multi-taskers, remember that we all get 24 hours every single day, no more and no less. There will come the point where accruing more responsibilities and helping others accomplish theirs becomes unsustainable, and you’ll start to feel the repercussions mentally and physically.
- Too Much Stress Is Dangerous: While moderate amounts of stress are excellent at challenging the brain and engaging in growth-positive activities, too much stress is dangerous. When stress goes past the breaking point, it’s no longer productive and only worsens your mood and inhibits you from getting anything done. As a result, the lack of tangible outcomes only compounds your negative afflictions and spirals you down even more.
- You Lose The Opportunity To Recuperate: Another dangerous effect of taking on too many responsibilities is losing the time and opportunity to recuperate. We are no robots that run on electricity and can charge our power indefinitely. We are rational people that require time to rest and recuperate our energy properly to work in an optimal condition. And, taking on too many responsibilities will rob you of the opportunity to meditate and practice mindfulness.
#2 Personal Growth Comes From Overcoming Challenges
Secondly, responsibilities are but another form of challenge and these obstacles we face are what allow personal growth to occur. However, when you constantly take responsibility for others, you are indirectly taking their opportunity for growth and adding unnecessary burdens to yourself. As a result, you end up stressed, and they don’t move an inch from where they started.
- Losing Some Battles Is Part Of The Process: One commonality among people who constantly extend their kindness to others is projecting themselves in the same situation either from past experience or a gut feeling. However, when you consistently help someone dodge all the rough edges, they don’t build the resilience that comes from losing some battles and standing back up again.
#3 Don’t Tolerate Overdependence
Last but not least, when you take the responsibility of others and constantly help them even when unnecessary, they build a nature for overdependence, and it will become something you start to tolerate. We strongly recommend everyone to refrain from overdependence because this moves in the exact opposite of growth. A person no longer aspires to become better and constantly aligns every problem with you being the sole person capable of resolution.
- It Plays With Your Emotions: Most people choose to help others with their responsibility out of feelings of love, where they feel emotionally attached to an individual and cannot bear to see them face struggles. However, when you take the fall for them on multiple occasions, it can erode the strong passion you once held for them and might even turn into manipulative.
Help Everyone Including Yourself
Overall, it’s never wise to take on everyone else’s burden, it’s theirs for a reason, and they should be accountable for the things they do. Yes, we’re not saying you can’t help others; in fact, we strongly advocate collaboration. However, always remember that helping everyone also means including yourself.